The rambling thoughts of a Modern Orthodox Chassid (whatever that means). Contact me at emansouth @

Monday, February 02, 2009

Relief, Joy and Profound Sadness

The legal saga surrounding the status of The Vance finally ended in a court hearing on Friday. I am still not at liberty to discuss details. Suffice it to say that, B'Ezras Hashem, we will be in a position to finalize the Vance's adoption within about six months.

MHW and I left the hearing extremely relieved. It did not become clear until the end of the hearing that the result would be positive. It was nervewracking.

We were also, of course, very happy. The Vance has been with us all but the first ten weeks of her life. She is now almost four. We are the only family she has ever known. She is as much a part of our family as each of the other kids, no more, no less. She is one of "the sisters". So, we were full of joy that she will continue to grow up as part of the mishpacha and that all doubts are finally put aside.

Finally, we were profoundly sad. The hearing was, truly, heartbreaking. Our gain was someone else's tragic loss. And, no matter how strongly I feel that this is the right result and in the best interests of The Vance, you have to be heartless not to feel for The Vance's birth mother. This feeling, more than any other, stayed with us through the weekend.

(The birth mother still has visitation rights that were worked out so she will continue to be a part of The Vance's life. Nevertheless...)

So, our gratitude to The One Above is endless. We are also grateful to all the wonderful people at OHEL who guided us (and will continue to guide us) through this journey. Their mesiras nefesh is inspiring.

(Speaking of which, OHEL is always looking for a few good foster families. If you live in the Metro area and are interested, please let me know.)



  • At 10:21 AM, Blogger treppenwitz said…

    Once in a long while the courts get it right. Mazal Tov!

  • At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mazal tov, MOChassid!

  • At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mazel tov, sir. To all of you.

  • At 3:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mazel Tov.

    There is no adoption without loss. However, your acknowledgment ofthe birthmother's loss coupled with her visitation rights are minimizing factors. The Vance is fortunate to have landed with such loving parents, and to have been with you almost from the start.

  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow - this must have been some journey for all parties involved. Mazel tov!

  • At 10:23 PM, Blogger -suitepotato- said…

    My wife was put up for adoption and then on her own later sought that birth mother out. Now I have two mothers-in-law as she has two mothers.

    May your story go as well and happy in the future.

  • At 2:17 AM, Blogger Fern @ Life on the Balcony said…

    The Vance is very blessed to have such caring, thoughtful parents. I'm glad the courts got this one right.

  • At 4:05 PM, Blogger Shira Salamone said…

    Mazal tov to your family, and, especially, to The Vance, who's lucky enough to be joining your family officially. Though this is sad for her birth mother, the court ruled in the child's best interests this time.

  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said…

    A Big Mazal Tov, MoC!!!

    --Jameel & Co.

  • At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mazel Tov! What a fortunate child she is indeed to be so loved and wanted.

    This is the update I've been looking forward to reading. I am so very happy for you all... :)

    Leah P.

  • At 8:29 AM, Blogger yanmaneee said…

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