Elul Guilt Trip
My Elul started with a Chassidishe shnorrer laying a huge guilt trip on me.
Yesterday evening at shul, I was finishing Mincha by saying the additional tefilah, "L'Dovid Hashem Ori V'Yishi". (In shuls that daven nusach Ashkenaz, L'Dovid is said after Maariv). I find L'Dovid to be one of the most moving and beautiful tefilos and that concentrating on the words helps me, perhaps more than anything else, prepare for the Yomim Noraim.
Literally as I was saying the words, "Achas Sha'alti...." ("One thing I ask of Hashem; permit me to dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life"), the Chassid approached and started talking to me. I politely gestured to my siddur to show him that I was in the middle of davening. I resumed my davening and he immediately started to talk to me again. This time I snapped: "Can't you see that I'm davening!?!" This time he stopped.
As soon as Kaddish was over, the Chassid, in from Israel, apologized and asked my permission (I was the ranking shul officer at Mincha) to make an announcement prior to Maariv explaining his sorry personal plight and request help. I agreed.
The rest of the night I felt guilty for snapping at him. Can one "dwell in the house of the Lord" when he snaps at unfortunate Yiddin in need of help? What would MHW have done? Surely not snapped at him. (I am not justifying his behavior; as desperate as he may have been, it is improper to interrupt someone who is clearly davening unless it is an immediate danger). I am trying to work on my patience and tolerance but feel that I failed my first Elul test.
Postscript: With the coming of Elul comes the onslaught of shul meshulachim. There were no fewer than four of them from Eretz Yisrael last night during mincha/maariv.
My Elul started with a Chassidishe shnorrer laying a huge guilt trip on me.
Yesterday evening at shul, I was finishing Mincha by saying the additional tefilah, "L'Dovid Hashem Ori V'Yishi". (In shuls that daven nusach Ashkenaz, L'Dovid is said after Maariv). I find L'Dovid to be one of the most moving and beautiful tefilos and that concentrating on the words helps me, perhaps more than anything else, prepare for the Yomim Noraim.
Literally as I was saying the words, "Achas Sha'alti...." ("One thing I ask of Hashem; permit me to dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life"), the Chassid approached and started talking to me. I politely gestured to my siddur to show him that I was in the middle of davening. I resumed my davening and he immediately started to talk to me again. This time I snapped: "Can't you see that I'm davening!?!" This time he stopped.
As soon as Kaddish was over, the Chassid, in from Israel, apologized and asked my permission (I was the ranking shul officer at Mincha) to make an announcement prior to Maariv explaining his sorry personal plight and request help. I agreed.
The rest of the night I felt guilty for snapping at him. Can one "dwell in the house of the Lord" when he snaps at unfortunate Yiddin in need of help? What would MHW have done? Surely not snapped at him. (I am not justifying his behavior; as desperate as he may have been, it is improper to interrupt someone who is clearly davening unless it is an immediate danger). I am trying to work on my patience and tolerance but feel that I failed my first Elul test.
Postscript: With the coming of Elul comes the onslaught of shul meshulachim. There were no fewer than four of them from Eretz Yisrael last night during mincha/maariv.
posted by MoChassid @ 10:09 AM
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