Ritual Drinking. Part II
[This is a continuation of the thread started here.]
In the blink of an eye, our shul went dry. Rabbi Billet had been pushing this idea at the Young Israel of Woodmere for a number of years. I was vehemently opposed to implementing a ban on hard liquor at Aish. I felt that Jews had been celebrating with a l'chayim or two for hundreds of years, that there was nothing wrong with drinking in moderation and that we had, until that point, managed to keep everything under control. I even thought that it would be important to show the velt that drinking had a place in our mesorah and that we would be able to continue that tradition without losing control.
Also, while I understood and supported Rabbi Billet's position, as it pertained to his shul, I thought our dynamics were different, for many reasons, among them, demographics. Our population was much younger. There were very few teens in the shul at that time so I was less worried about the impression that drinking would make on our kids. And, very naively, I thought that we were somehow 'different' and would be able to deal with it as our kids got older.
The concert woke me up. Witnessing what I did that night, I realized that we were living in very different and challenging times and that desperate measures were called for. I now felt that we had to show our kids that drinking was not that important. We could no longer afford to make a big deal of the wonderful and expensive bottles of scotch and bourbon that we were all so proud of. That we could control ourselves.
Let me be clear. While I think measures such as these are necessary and important, if that is all we do we are totally wasting our time. The rash of drinking and drugs (and, more recently, gambling) that is plaguing our kids are symptoms of much deeper problems. We have to address the underlying disease, not just the symptoms. All the awareness programs run by our schools, the public pronouncements made by the OU, NCSY and others, the bans on the internet and even cell phones are for naught unless the underlying issues are addressed.
And it is interesting that these problems afflict the yeshivish world as much as the MO world. Kids who are growing up in entirely differnt environments are sharing the same problems. What's going on? What is the common denominator?
And another thing. There are so many kids growing up in frum houses who are NOT drinking or doing drugs and are not, on the outside, demonstrating rebellious behavior, but who are completely disengaged from and disinterested in Yiddishkeit. They go through the motions of being frum kids (out of derech eretz for their parents, I suppose) but feel nothing. We don't often describe kids like these as being "off the derech" but they could be described as "sleep-walking through the derech".
So what is the underlying problem? And what can we do? I hope to discuss this next post.
[This is a continuation of the thread started here.]
In the blink of an eye, our shul went dry. Rabbi Billet had been pushing this idea at the Young Israel of Woodmere for a number of years. I was vehemently opposed to implementing a ban on hard liquor at Aish. I felt that Jews had been celebrating with a l'chayim or two for hundreds of years, that there was nothing wrong with drinking in moderation and that we had, until that point, managed to keep everything under control. I even thought that it would be important to show the velt that drinking had a place in our mesorah and that we would be able to continue that tradition without losing control.
Also, while I understood and supported Rabbi Billet's position, as it pertained to his shul, I thought our dynamics were different, for many reasons, among them, demographics. Our population was much younger. There were very few teens in the shul at that time so I was less worried about the impression that drinking would make on our kids. And, very naively, I thought that we were somehow 'different' and would be able to deal with it as our kids got older.
The concert woke me up. Witnessing what I did that night, I realized that we were living in very different and challenging times and that desperate measures were called for. I now felt that we had to show our kids that drinking was not that important. We could no longer afford to make a big deal of the wonderful and expensive bottles of scotch and bourbon that we were all so proud of. That we could control ourselves.
Let me be clear. While I think measures such as these are necessary and important, if that is all we do we are totally wasting our time. The rash of drinking and drugs (and, more recently, gambling) that is plaguing our kids are symptoms of much deeper problems. We have to address the underlying disease, not just the symptoms. All the awareness programs run by our schools, the public pronouncements made by the OU, NCSY and others, the bans on the internet and even cell phones are for naught unless the underlying issues are addressed.
And it is interesting that these problems afflict the yeshivish world as much as the MO world. Kids who are growing up in entirely differnt environments are sharing the same problems. What's going on? What is the common denominator?
And another thing. There are so many kids growing up in frum houses who are NOT drinking or doing drugs and are not, on the outside, demonstrating rebellious behavior, but who are completely disengaged from and disinterested in Yiddishkeit. They go through the motions of being frum kids (out of derech eretz for their parents, I suppose) but feel nothing. We don't often describe kids like these as being "off the derech" but they could be described as "sleep-walking through the derech".
So what is the underlying problem? And what can we do? I hope to discuss this next post.
posted by MoChassid @ 11:01 AM
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