Visiting

I've posted numerous times about how disruptive parental visits can be for young foster children. Mainly, I was talking about the experiencs we had with Fosterboy and his younger brother when they were about 4 and 5 and then later, with Fosterboy, when he was a couple of years older. With babies, on the other hand, the disruption is different. There is no demonstrable emotional disruption, just one of routine. This is not a small issue since routine and structure for babies is very important. As the babies grow up and are more aware of what's going on, the disruption also grows.

I spent a good part of today ferrying TT to and from what was supposed to be a parental visit. I had agreed to guest-teach a business class at Flatbush Yeshiva H.S. for a good friend. TT's visit was scheduled for about the same time so I dropped her off at Ohel on the way. (There was also a periodic progress meeting regarding TT so I stayed for that, as well).

When I told TT it was time for me to leave, she was not very pleased. The BM was not there yet so I left her with the case worker from OHEL. TT has clearly reached the stage where she is very aware of what's going on (and although she likes the people at Ohel would rather not be left there). She is going to start really hating her visits.

(As it turns out, I got a call on my cell phone that BM never showed up for the visit and called 45 minutes late to let Ohel know she wasn't coming. This has happened a number of times now and does not bode well. I picked up TT after my teaching gig and drove her home).

It is very sad to think that this delightful child, who is about as happy a toddler as you'll ever see, is going to have to confront issues that no child should have to deal with.