"Mommy, Am I Adopted Now?"

Last week I got a call from our lawyer asking if this Tuesday, May 12th, would work for the finalization of the adoption of the Vance. This came as a surprise since, only a week earlier, she had asked me whether the second week in June worked. (A facilitator working for OHEL apparently actually facilitated).

MHW and I cleared our calendars. We weren't going to let this opportunity pass. (We were also pleased that May 12th turned out to be Lag B'Omer, very fitting since the Vance, whose real name is Meira, has brought so much light into our lives).

We showed up at the Queens County Family Court at around 9, my in-laws eagerly joining us. We were soon met by our lawyer (with whom I had only spoken to on the phone). She was a lovely women who immediately hit it off with the Vance. You could tell that she loved what she was doing.

Shortly thereafter, we were met by a swarm from OHEL, led by David Mandel, its CEO. Also attending were Shelly, the head of foster care services (and our very first close connection from OHEL dating back almost ten years), Chaya Suri, the supervisor of the Vance's case, Ruth, the Vance's caseworker, who was instrumental in brokering the open adoption aggreement, and even Rena, the Vance's former caseworker who doesn't work for OHEL anymore but wouldn't have considered missing the moment. MHW and I were so touched by the presence of the people whose hard work and mesiras nefesh were responsible for getting us to this point.

The scene in the waiting area was pretty weird. Hugs, pictures, the exchange of stories, more pictures. The Vance, didn't really know what was going on but was happy to be the center of attention (and receive a few toys from Ruth). As disruptive as her visits to OHEL sometimes were, she always liked to go because of how well everyone treated her at OHEL. She, Miss Personality, was a star there. She was very happy to be among her friends again.

After a half hour, we were called in. Unlike previous court appearances, this proceeding was in a conference room with Judge de Phillips at the head of the table.

MHW and I affirmed that all the informaation we had provided on our written submisions was true and correct and that there had been no material changes. The clerk then had us confirm our signatures as well as the Vance's new name. The Judge then put some stuff on the record and signed the order of adoption.

As he signed, he said, "When I sign this order of adoption, I am signing an order of love."

He then spoke for a few minutes. MHW were wracking our brains to recreate his moving words. This is the best I can do right now but one of my friends is trying to get a transcript from the court (We think it was recorded).

Judge de Phillips said that we felt privileged to be there and to meet us. He said loving children is an act of humanity and that the more people who love children in this world the better off we are. He said that that to raise a child is a courageous act and that adoption was an affirmation of man's humanity. He said that, in a way, those who are loved by their parents are all "adopted", whether their parents are birth parents or not. Finally, he said that he was 72 years old and had presided over many adoptions. This was the first time he had seen so many agency staff present. He thought that was "wonderful".

We then posed for pictures with the Judge and (this being a Jewish thing) had some cookies (that Shelly had smuggled into court. The courthouse guards are usually very strict about not letting food into court. When Shelly explained that it was to celebrate an adoption, they waived her in, no problem).

As I left the conference room I told Judge de Phillips that we were privileged to be in his courtroom.

During the entire proceeding, the Vance was playing quietly with the new toys that Ruth had brought and didn't seem to be paying much attention. As we left the conference, she turned to MHW and said, "Am I adopted now?"