The rambling thoughts of a Modern Orthodox Chassid (whatever that means). Contact me at emansouth @

Thursday, June 28, 2007

More on Visits

As I have noted on a number of occasions, one of the most difficult aspects of fostering is dealing with parental visits.

We are now at the point with TT that she understands what's going on when she has a visit and is extremely unhappy about it. She doesn't want to go and cries when she's picked up. Then, when she comes home, her schedule is completely off because she hasn't napped in the afternoon at the usual time. (She often falls asleep in the car on the way home and doesn't go to sleep until much later).

Visits used to make "Judah" and his brother nutso because they were so chaotic. Thankfully, TT's visits are not like that. However, we know that the older she gets, the more she understands, the more difficult the visits will become.

On the other hand, you have to feel very sad for birth parents who get to see their kid for a few hours a week. Some things don't have good answers.



  • At 6:24 PM, Blogger Fern said…

    If I remember things correctly, she has been with you guys since shortly after her birth, right? At what point will "the people in charge" decide that she either is going to go back to her parents or be adopted by you and your wife (if that is what you plan on doing)?

  • At 9:51 PM, Blogger MoChassid said…

    July 12th will mark two years. TT arrived when she was ten weeks old.

    Permanency hearings are scheduled for July and August but a contested case could take years to resolve. Yes, we plan on adopting her if they let us.

  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger uberimma said…

    Is it likely to be contested? By the birth parents, or someone else? If you feel comfortable answering that question on your blog.

  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger MoChassid said…


    It is not yet clear. The only ones who has standing to contest are birth parents.

    The way these things work is that the potential adoptive parents are not technically part of any litigation. It is the City, represented by Ohel and ACS, against the birth parents, in a TPR, a termination of parental rights, case. If a TPR is granted, then Ohel and ACS have "control" of the child and can recommend the adoption. If I am not mistaken, any foster parents who have had a child in their home for over a year has "first dibs" on the child.


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