The rambling thoughts of a Modern Orthodox Chassid (whatever that means). Contact me at emansouth @

Friday, April 28, 2006

How To Stay Thin While Eating at Expensive Restaurants Three Times A Week

1. Avoid the Bread. It's just extra calories. You don't need it.

2. Avoid the Soda and Iced Tea. Unless you are prepared to drink diet soda or use sweeteners (I'm not).

3. Soup or Salad Appetizer. Nothing more than soup or a basic salad for the appetizer. Careful about the salad dressing; lot's of hidden calories.

4. Limit the Red Meat. No more than once a week.

5. Heavy on the Fish. Do the sushy thing where possible. Chilean sea bass or tuna (rare) also work.

6. Avoid Desert. Unless you are at My Most Favorite Desert Place, in which case, ditch the appetizer. There is no point in having lunch there unless you get the blueberry pie, apple cake, etc.

7. Work Out Like Crazy. There are a lot of calories to burn, no matter how disciplined you are.

If you follow these rules, you should be able to maintain your weight. Maybe I should write a book. I could make millions!!!



  • At 4:04 PM, Blogger uberimma said…

    8. Avoid the kosher restaurants. Just go to the treif places and smell the food. Drool all you want, you won't gain an ounce!

    (Except, of course, that I did, because I always got so hungry sitting through those meals that I went and got a cheese pretzel afterwards.)

  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Your Older Daughter said…

    Thank you for your sagely advice-however I have one bone to pick with you. In your haste to grace the public with your wisdom on dieting you must have forgotten to recommend the strawberry rhubarb tart at My Most Favorite Dessert. Try not to let it happen again.:)

  • At 9:58 AM, Blogger MoChassid said…


    While I understand that you often dream about the strawberry rhubarb tart, I, personally, prefer the bluberry or apples pie. You are cordially invited to guest post and reveal all your food favorites.

  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger DovBear said…

    Great plan, MoC. Only it won't work for people who (a) don't like fish (b) have no will power and (c) are too lazy to work-out.

    Fortunately, I am a faily well-diciplined fish lover, but most of our co-religionists are now.

  • At 1:02 PM, Blogger DovBear said…

    are not*


Post a Comment

<< Home