Saved by Little Debbie

I spent all day yesterday meeting with staffers at the United States Senate.

I had taken the Acela Express to Baltimore on Tuesday night and, after a lovely late dinner with OOD, slept over at OOD and THG's apartment.

I arrived in Washington at 8:15 am yesterday. OOD had gotten me a muffin for the train ride and I also had a bowl of cereal. Our meetings started early and did not end until 4:45. Although we took a break for lunch in one of the Senate cafeterias, all I could eat there was a bag of potato chips, a banana and a drink.

Our last meeting was at 4:00 p.m. with Senator Corker's staff. By this time, I was pretty hungry. In the Senator's waiting room was a large basket filled with pastries. What did I have to lose? I took a look. Little Debbie's blueberry muffins and other such stuff. (Little Debbie is part of McKee Foods and is apparently based in Chattanooga, TN) Being a sheltered New Yorker, I had never heard of Little Debbie. To my surprise, they had hechscher from Triangle K.

I stuck a a muffin and a granola bar (a sure sign of desperation) into my coat pocket.

The meeting ended and we raced to the airport. (Only to find out that our 6 p.m. flight had been canceled; about which, more later). Long story short, we were able to get on the 5 p.m. shuttle that had been delayed until 5:30 (but ended up actually leaving 6:15). Bottom line: I didn't even have time to buy a chocolate bar.

We got on the plane and I took out the spoils of my meeting with the staff of the good Senator from Tennessee. Saved by Little Debbie.

I Am Not Worthy

I have been working on an important matter for the past few months (at least it's important if you're a vulture fund). The final act (for now) took place last Friday when I testified before a Judicial Rules Committee (It was pretty cool, although I was so nervous I could barely eat the day before).

I'm having dinner tonight with two of the law firm partners with whom I worked on this project. They are bringing along two other partners whom they want to introduce.

I looked them all up on their firm website. One of the partners I worked with is a piker like me. Among the other three, there are two Supreme Court clerkships, three Federal Court of Appeals clerkships and one Executive Editor of the Harvard Law Review. I am not worthy.

On the other hand, as I've noted before, it's not all about brains.

Endless Day

This has been a long, weird day.

It started at 2:30 a.m. in Tokyo (12:30 p.m. New York time, Monday). This trip has completely wreaked havoc on me and I am completely off. I woke up after only a few hours of sleep. I worked the rest of the night until the gym opened at 6.

I crashed for an hour from 11 a.m. to 12 and then gave my presentation at 1:45. I left for the airport at 3:30 and got there just before 5.

Because I had changed my flight from Wednesday, the best I could do was a flight to Chicago with a connection to New York. (It would have cost about $2,000 to get a direct flight). I was really looking forward to that.

(Again, the wisdom of traveling about 40 hours to make a one hour presentation to a bunch of Japanese businessmen is something I am not convinced of).

The flight was scheduled to leave at 7. As I was walking out of the Admiral's Club lounge, I decided to ask the guy at the counter if he could put me on the direct flight to New York. To my surprise, he said, sure, no problem. I even got an aisle seat (although I had to give up my kosher meals; that's why I always travel with a few chocolate bars).

So, my flight left Tokyo at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday and I was in my house before 7 p.m. Tuesday. Crazy.

Right now my body clock is so confused I don't know what to do. I think I'll go to sleep.

Tokyo

This is my third trip to Tokyo in four years. In my previous two trips I stayed no more than 2 1/2 days. This trip will be no different. I arrived at 11 p.m. on Sunday evening and will be departing my hotel for the airport at 3:30 Tuesday, right after the presentation I'm giving, for on a 7 p.m. flight.

In my previous trips, I never strayed more than one block from my hotel; I might as well have been in Chicago. I am thinking of getting up at 4 a.m. tomorrow to go to the Fish Market which I hear is very cool. Chances are I will be awake anyway since this trip wreaks havoc on me.

It took me 21 hours, door to door, to get to my hotel in Tokyo from Ramat Shiloh. I flew El Al to Hong Kong (10.5 hours) and, after a 2 hour layover, went the rest of the way to Tokyo (a four hour flight). The bus ride from the airport to the hotel took over an hour and a half on a Sunday evening when there was no traffic. The bus ride back is scheduled to take over 2 hours. (Taking a cab from the airport costs around $250).

The saving grace is that I flew business class and that the hotel I'm staying at is first class (The Four Seasons at Chinzan-So). Nevertheless, this trip wipes me out and it takes me a long time to recover. It's very hard for me to reconcile spending all this time traveling, and getting so messed up, for, effectively, a one-hour presentation. But, that's the way it is.

The only reason I'm posting now is because it is delaying me from having to prepare my notes for tomorrow's presentation. I've procrastinated long enough. I have to do some work.

Worse Than Shiny Shoe Music

I was sitting this morning at the Rimon Cafe in the mall outside the Jaffe Gate having a lovely working breakfast. (I have recently bought in heavily to the idea of taking a lap top everywhere I go and hooking into wifi; a little late to the game but not bad for an alter kocker)

They were playing very nice music (including a tune from Mati Caspi from about 35 years ago when I spent a year at Hebrew University that had me going nostalgic). Then they played a pretty song called "Killing Me Softly" by someone whose name escapes me. Suddenly, after a couple of verses, a rapper intervened in the song. The whole rap thing then surrounded the pretty song and totally ruined it.

I've been meaning to post about this phenomenon for a while but haven't had the chance. This morning was the last straw.

What IS this?

I am often subjected to this horror at spin classes. They take classic rock songs and surround them with either a rap or disco beat. I recently went to a spin class where the instructor was a few years older than I. She announced that she would be playing "oldies" from her era and hoped that everyone would get into it. Unfortunately, I was then forced to listen to 45 minutes of this horrible music. I felt myself longing for The Chevra or the Yeshiva Boys Choir! (OK, not really, but you get the point).

There ought to be a law.

Dumb and Dumber

I've been on the road a lot lately. Last week to Washington, this week to San Francisco and LA.

I assumed in light of the recent airline bombing attempt that the security process would be more painfully stupid than normal.

Until last night, I was pleasantly surprised. All of my flights went smoothly with only the usual silly hassles (I get annoyed every time I have to take off my shoes; even though I usually travel in Naot clogs).

Last night took the cake. I got to the security line at LAX at 8:30 for a 10 pm Red-eye home. It took 35 minutes to get through the x-ray and metal detectors. Among the people the TSA peeps body searched were a blond teenaged girl, a woman in a wheel chair, and an old lady; all highly suspicious characters. When I finally got through the x-ray, they pulled me over because they didn't recognize my tube of hand cream. I had to send my bag through X-ray again.

Ich kenesht.

Almost Home

In less than 12 hours I will be picking up MHW at JFK.

I have survived!

Truth be told, I very much enjoyed the last four days taking care of and hanging out with The Vance. We had fun, she did not take too much advantage of me, and I don't think I destroyed all of MHW's four-plus years of work (maybe just one). Nevertheless, I will be very happy to see MHW back in charge. I suspect the Vance will be as well.

It's a funny thing. I spend many nights on the road on business. I don't sleep well when I'm on the road but don't feel the loneliness overtly. I'm probably too busy and stimulated to think about it. At home, I feel the loneliness much more but sleep very well in my own bed.

In any event, I look forward to getting up at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow, driving to JFK in the freezing weather and picking up MHW. Well worth it.

Random Thoughts

1. MHW must be looking forward to travelling to Israel tonight what with the new TSA procedures in place. I wonder how long it will take her to get through the checkpoint and what other silly things the security people are going to require. They may not even let her through with yogurt (we know the Yoplait
is no good).

2. I get to play Mr. Mom for the next few days. I will try my hardest not to undo all of MHW's hard work with The Vance since last Thanksgiving (when she last went to Israel without me). Burger's Bar, here we come!

3. Try this very funky new Shabbos CD by Yerachmiel and Aaron Razel. Cute article in Arutz Shevah.

Ouch

This afternoon, The Vance had a play date at our house. I had been out for the first part of the visit but when I came home I said hello to The Vance's friend and asked her her name. She told me her name and then asked me, "are you The Vance's grandpa?"

Ouch. She sure knows how to hurt a guy.

More Stupid Rules Coming Our Way

In the wake of the attempted on board airline bombing the other day, the TSA has apparently instituted more stupid rules that will make flying for everyone even more unpleasant than it already is.

Instead of biting the profiling bullet and closely scrutinizing those who fit a certain bill, the TSA will now more thoroughly pat down children, prohibit the use of electronic equipment in the last hour of flights (huh?) and not let people get up from their seats towards the end of flights. All this will do is drive travelers even more crazy because everyone knows (including the TSA) that this is not an effective way to prevent terrorism. Mainly, it's just reactive nonsense (like preventing people from bringing in liquids; what a joke!).

Ich kenesht.

Jews Love To Eat

Jackie Mason always makes fun of the Jews' propensity to eat.

Based on my anecdotal experience in general and specifically this afternoon, I tend to agree, at least insofar as frum Jews are concerned.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

I took my mom to the Pizza store for lunch this afternoon. Not only was the pizza store packed, but it seemed that many of the eateries in town were similarly crowded. They were crowded when I came and they were crowded when I left.

Shabbos was less than 3 hours away when I left and the places were still packed.

Mi K'amcha Yisrael?

Baalabatish

On Monday I traipsed back to Philadelphia for another court hearing. I went for two reasons. First, the issue under consideration in court was another one that my firm and industry are focusing on. The second, and main reason, was because I was told that the general counsel of a very chashuva hedge fund (and a new member of my firm) would be testifying. The reason this interested me is that it would give me the opportunity to meet the GC and, perhaps, persuade him to testify at a hearing in February that is of great importance to the industry.

The hearing went well and the GC was a fabulous witness. I got to introduce myself and spend a few minutes with the chashuva GC ("CGC"). Everything went according to plan.

After the hearing, I took a cab to the 30th Street Station to catch the 4:35 Acela Express back to New York. If everything worked out, I would be able to rush over to the LIRR and catch the 6:02 home.

Not.

The departures board at the station noted that the train would be 25 minutes late. No big deal. In fact, since I had scheduled a conference call for 4 p.m., I was happy to spend another 25 minutes in the station since it would make handling that call much easier.

Of course, 25 minutes turned into an hour and forty minutes. This looked bad. But actually, it turned out to be good. Very good.

As luck would have it, I ran into CGC who was also waiting for the train. We started talking, first about business, and then about other things. Turns out CGC is a Mormon. So when I told him I had five kids, he didn't flinch (unlike most people in business who look at me like I have two heads when I tell them that).

We ended up talking for almost three hours. He agreed to testify in February, making my trip a total success. But more than that, he turned out to be an extremely nice man who, despite his great success in business, was very humble and very family oriented and "baalabatish". I couldn't help thinking that this guy was a frum, "Modern Orthodox" Christian. Very serious about his religion, but very much a part of the modern world.

While I know that the Mormons have some strange stuff going on (unlike, say, Jews, whose religious practices are completely understandable and rational), I was impressed with CGC and his family oriented approach to life.

All in all, a very interesting afternoon.

E-Cards

Is it only me or are you also tired of all the holiday E-Cards?

I'm all for saving trees but these things are annoying. It used to be that I'd get the cards, open them quickly, read them and throw them in the trash.

Now, if you don't open them, the senders KNOW that you didn't open them so you HAVE to open them to prevent bad feelings.

My GMC Validated

Today was one of those days that occurs about every five years that validates my purchase of a GMC Envoy.

This morning, while others where spending hours digging out their cars, I backed the GMC right out of my driveway and cruised to shul while drivers around me were slipping and sliding.

So it gets 12 MPG; on days like today, I forgive it.

(And, while we're on the topic of snow, there is no doubt that the sanitation department drivers who plow the streets target people who have already shoveled the snow awy from their cars. My other car was plowed in three times today. Maybe I should have bought two GMCs).

Real Life Moot Court UPDATED

I spent yesterday morning in a Philadelphia courtroom listening to oral arguments in this case. My firm had submitted an amicus (friend of the court) brief in support of the evil hedge funds that own the debt.

Three things were noteworthy. The lead judge rocked. He took control immediately and had an absolute handle on the issues (He is a former bankruptcy partner at a Delaware firm and has a reputation for being a great judge in financial cases).

Second, one of the three judges on the panel attended virtually, through a video hookup. Pretty cool. As my father, z'l, would have said, "America Ganif".

Third, there were about 20 representatives of the Teamsters Union in attendance, in support of the company. The company has been warning the unions that if the evil hedge funds get control of the company, the union will be busted and other terrible things will happen. (Perhaps the company should have thought of that when they borrowed $275 million that they can't pay back).

All in all, a very interesting morning.

And, for me, whose last "court" argument was 33 years ago in law school moot court (a case I lost 2-1 to a very attractive blond; I received the vote of my female writing instructor and my opponent received the two men's votes. I'm just saying), these cases are a hoot. This is the fourth case that I've been involved in since July and we are about to file a fifth. MoChassid: Litigator. Who woulda thunk it.

Checking In

I apologize to my rapidly dwindling numbers of readers for my lack of attention to this Blog. I have been extremely busy both at work and at home and have had very little time to write. It is not for lack of topics; I have been thinking a lot about a number of topics but that thinking is usually during my spin workouts and I have not been able to execute.

It is unlikely to get any better until, perhaps, the last week of the year. I will do the best I can. In the meantime, best wishes for a lichtig Chanukah.

Gassing Up: Still the Story of My Life, But With a Twist

If you substitute OMD for OOD, much of this post still pertains today.

The arrangement I have with OMD, the same arrangement I had with OOD and OYS, is that so long as she drops me off at the train station in the morning, and picks me up at night, she can use my car during the day. Thus, I barely get to drive it. And, as I've noted in the past, none of my kids seems to have figured out that the "E" on the gas gage means empty. Or that the lit up picture of a gas tank means you need gas.

So, last Friday, as I drove my car to shul, I noticed that the car gage was, indeed, very close to the "E". I made a mental note to gas the car up on Sunday morning despite the fact that I knew OMD would be driving it on Saturday night (albeit only locally).

I woke up ten minutes earlier and, on my way to shul, stopped at the gas station. I took out my credit card, got authorized and began pumping.

To my astonishment, the car took only two gallons. It then hit me that I hadn't re-checked the gas gage and had just assumed that OMD would not fill up the car on Saturday night. Well, obviously, she had.

Mea culpa to OMD. My constant whining is apparently having an effect.

Ikvisah D'Mishicha

Tootsie Rolls are now certified by the OU.

Worrying About "Worrying"

I have recently read a number of articles, mostly on the economy, that used the word "worrying" in a way that I'm not sure is correct. Similarly, I've seen and heard the word "concerning" used in the same, possibly incorrect, context.

"She is worrying about the safety of her job." No problem here.

"The current job trend is worrying" (substitute "concerning" and you have the same issue). Are there such words as "worrying" or "concerning" in this context?

If not, should I care or is this just the way language evolves?

Black Black and Whites

On Sunday morning, I went to Gourmet Glatt to buy some things for a tikun for my father's yahrtzeit. I bought some herring, some rugalach, a mandel bread and some crackers.

As I was picking up the baked goods at the Zomicks counter, I stumbled upon an all-black black and white cookie.

"It's not possible", I thought. I had been looking for an all black black and white for years. Only once, more than 20 years ago, did I see one (in Boro Park, of all places). And now, right here in my neighborhood, less than ten minutes from home, I can presumably now get one any time I want.

Life is good.