The rambling thoughts of a Modern Orthodox Chassid (whatever that means). Contact me at emansouth @

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Fleeting Moments II: Missing Shalom Zachors

Last week three boys were born to members of my shul between Thursday and Friday morning. Mazel Tov. That meant three shalom zachors. I decided not to attend any of them. In fact, I have only attended two since my father, z'l, passed away 17 months ago.

It's not because I am anti-social (though I may be). I just decided that I would sooner spend Friday nights at our table with my family rather than run around town drinking scotch at other people's tables.

In the beginning, I used my status as an avel to excuse my absences. When my aveilus ended, I continued to stay away, without excuses. I simply give a 'mazal tov' to the ba'alei simcha in shul on Friday night.

Last Friday night was a good example. We sat down for our seudah at around 8:30 p.m. The shalom zachors were called for 'sometime after 9'. Had I decided to attend one or more of them, I would have had to pick myself up from the table no later than 10 (I live 20 minutes from pretty much everyone in the shul). As it is, both OOD and OYS had guests for Shabbos and we had a delightful Friday night meal that lasted until 11:30.

One of our kids is already grown and out of the house (soon out of the country). One is home only for weekends. One will be leaving in a bit more than a year for a couple of years in Israel. Our youngest will be starting high school next year. (We will be celebrating the Baby's first birthday on Friday but that's another story).

The years pass quickly. We intend to spend as much time with our kids as we can before the inevitable parting of the ways. It's too bad that I have to miss all these shalom zachors, but I am not sorry.

Next: Fleeting Moments III: The Baby Turns One



  • At 11:50 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    You have your priorities straight. I myself turn down offers for volunteer work, book clubs, classes, etc. that would keep me away from my family.

    As you point out, kids grow up so fast. The way I see it, there will be time enough for me to do all this stuff once the boys are grown and out on their own.

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger DovBear said…

    That's fine for old people, like you, who have big kids, but when the kids are small, they are in bed by 10 so you miss nothing when you leave for an SZ.

  • At 1:02 PM, Blogger PsychoToddler said…

    I'm so pooped out after cleaning up the Friday night meal that about all I can do is collapse, sometimes on the couch, preferably in my bed.

    If you see me at your shalom Zachar, then you are one very special person.

  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger MoChassid said…


    What about the wife. What is she, chopped liver?


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