The rambling thoughts of a Modern Orthodox Chassid (whatever that means). Contact me at emansouth @

Monday, August 28, 2006

How I Met and Married MHW: Part II Scene III: Seven Weeks

Having decided that I would marry MHW, and, after an initial misstep, having succeeded in arranging a date, the question was, how do I get MHW, who had absolutely no inkling whatsoever that I was already thinking about where I was going to buy a ring, to agree to marry me in as short a time as possible.

Asking her to marry me during the first date was obviously a non-starter. Instead, I decided to try to act normal (ok, relatively normal), at least for the first few dates, and not let on that her future had already been determined - by me. The good news was that I had a car and some money (I was a first year associate at a Wall Street law firm making what I thought was an absolute fortune (and is just about what I pay now for one year of tuition at Stern College)). So, I employed what I refer to as the "Subtle Full Court Press Approach".

The truth is, I don't remember many specifics about our dates. All I remember is that we went out a lot during the first three weeks and it was all I could do to restrain myself from getting down on a knee and asking for her hand in marriage.

(The other thing I remember is that during this time, MHW's mom was cleaning for Pesach. We're talking late February. I remember thinking that this was just one of the many things I would have to adapt to when I married MHW. And, indeed, I am now forbidden from eating chametz anywhere in the house starting from about Memorial Day).

Gradually (I mean by the fourth week), my intentions became more clear. Thankfully, MHW seemed to be buying my goofy act even though we were very different in so many ways. At least so many ways on the outside. In truth, it was becoming apparent that we were on the same wavelength in many of the ways that actually matter.

(It is true that opposites often attract. However, opposites also often divorce. MHW and I were and are not opposites. There is a big difference between having different characteristics on the one hand and having different values and goals on the other. In marriage, the former is fine so long as each party makes adjustments and allowances; the latter is disasterous.)

The remaining obstacle was now how to break through MHW's cumbersome decision making process. Unlike me, who went almost entirely by the seat of his pants and winged it most of the time, MHW was always very careful and methodical. She actually thought her decisions through (with one other exception). What a strange concept.

Nevertheless, it was clear that the full court press was working. I had been a long distance runner and I was prepared to hang in as long as it took. I was hopelessly in love and certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that MHW was my bashert. What's a few more weeks?

Next: "You wanna get engaged? I dunno, you want to get engaged?"


  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger M said…

    nu where's the rest of the story????

  • At 2:51 PM, Blogger MoChassid said…


    Next week....This is like 24, you have to keep the people in suspense.


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