Kavanah Deficit

The main takeaway from my extended Shavuous weekend is that I suffer from a severe kavanah deficit attributable to my obsession with nonsense.

Two examples.

A beautiful arrangement of flowers was placed on each side of the bimah for yom tov. I sit in the first row in front of the right side of the bimah. The flower arrangement included a bunch of big, colorful flowers in full bloom. And one completely out-of-place red shriveled up carnation. What were they thinking? (To make matters worse, it was only on my side that there was this out-of-place flower. The other arrangement was perfect).

Needless to say, the carnation drove me crazy all yom tov. I wanted to yank it out but, of course, couldn't. So, rather than focus on my tefilah, I thought about the carnation.

The second example happened on Friday night. The ba'al tefilah, without question one of the top three in our shul, put the first part of Lecha Dodi to Shlomo Carlebach's "Yisborach Shimcha", just recently recorded by Eitan Katz on his new CD. It really worked well and the shul was rocking.

One problem. The ba'al tefilah, and the kehilah, were getting one note wrong. They were going up when they should have gone down (in the last two words of the first stanza, to the words "L'olam va'ed").

I am already crazed by my shul's absolute destruction of Niggun Neshamah and now, another potential botch. I fear it is already too late.

I obsessed all Shabbos.

I think I need intervention.