A War of Wills

MHW and I are engaged in a war of wills with The Toddler. The issue. Her pacifier. Until now she has been content chewing on it while in her crib. Sometimes we'd let her have it if we were in the car for a very long time.

Recently, she started asking for it all the time. With her new and improved language, she can be quite a sympathetic character: "I need pac-i-fi-er" while touching her chest.

This is one of those times when big will power is needed. Luckily, MHW has that in abundance. I just get in line and follow her lead. As MHW's explained to me, if we hold the line now, TT will get over this phase in a matter of days or a couple of weeks. But, if we give in now, we will have to deal with this for years. Using a pacifier is bad for her bite and bad for language development. And getting it away from her later will be brutal.

This is similar to our bedroom policy. We have never permitted any of our kids to sleep in our beds (while we were in them). This was an absolute rule that could not be violated. If one of the kids felt it necessary to be near us in the middle of the night, he or she could come into the room with his or her pillow and blanket and sleep on the carpet next to our bed.

I know couples who have not had a peaceful night's sleep in years because their kids share their beds (Indeed, one of my co-workers, an otherwise intelligent women, has had her three year old in her bed for almost two years; she now finds breaking her daughter of that habit impossible).

So, we will have to endure a couple of weeks of whining, feeling sad and guilty, but we know what we are doing is better for us and, more importantly, better for TT, in the long run.