"I Am a Mother".

Every once in a while I receive a comment that is so spot on that I like to highlight it.

This is one of them, in response to my recent post on staying home for Pesach.

I am a mother. I have been working myself to the bone. My husband and I are weary with exhaustion. Only 2 days left to the seder. The lists and shopping are done and now just work, work, work.

Would you recommend that I go to a Pesach hotel? Of course, why shouldn't I "enjoy" my yom Tov? Well, that would be the worst thing. I have had a chance to turn the last two months of my life into Avodas Hashem. Every sore muscle, drop of sweat and minute of lost sleep are counting to my Olam Haba. I don't have to have lofty spiritual thoughts to connect to Hashem. Neither me or my husband has to concentrate to be koneh our Yom Tov. Our efforts are enough that we are connected. We are told L'fum Tzarah Agra. Why would I give up this opportunity for a few days of rest?

As for the time with my children, If I were in a hotel, I would be shmoozing with friends, my kids would be screaming and pulling at my skirt. i would want to go to a shiur and leave them with a babysitter. They would be at the children's program instead of with me. I would keep them up either too late at night or leave them in their room alone.

Instead, my 2 year old runs to get me a potato to peel and we discuss shapes. He sits munching on an apple as I explain how to check eggs. My five year old and I check the romaine, prepare salt water and discuss why Totty goes to shul while Mommy watches the baby. this is their holiday now too since they put in the work aside from the coloring and pasting they did in school. They see how we drop everything we are doing, literally, to run do a chesed. We laugh and sing and cry and spend time together working together. They see that challenges are things to make us stronger not to run away from. The key to keeping this time sane has been to turn off my cell and regular phones. It's amazing how much calmer the family is when it's just us. As for Mothers & Bubbies being Shmatas, they don't need to be if Fathers & Zaidies would pitch in. When everyone views the Yom Tov as team play and not as "when can I get my nap" it is the most beautiful time of the year.

As for not being together with my whole extended family, I am not sure if that is such an issue. Leil HaSeder is our chance to transmit our mesora to our children. I don't need to transmit that mesora to my nieces, or great-grandparents or third cousins. Just to my kids. If being together helps with that, great. if not I would rather be at my or my parents' seder where we focus on our kids.

Pesach is a stressful time. I am lucky to have a part-time job so I could do a lot of work with the kids. But attitude and preparation make the difference. It's not about "why should I be the one to do it" but rather "I'm so lucky that I can be the one . . . "